here's a cute photo collage steve put together a bit ago. it's on facebook, i'm sure you've all seen it.
so, part two of my thoughts about identity.
one side of the picture, that i already wrote about, is the sacrifice part. the other side i've been thinking about is the self absorbed side. i mean, in my mind it seems like if i'm not focusing on sacrificing so much for everyone, then the other extreme is making my world totally all about me. which is lame, too, i think. i think it's easy to think about all the ways i can develop myself and my talents. but, i worry that too much focus on those things takes away from the focus on others. especially because i am a firm believer that serving others is a great way to grasp some happiness.
another off-shoot from this thought is what to do with the things that you (well, me, i'm really talking about me) just don't want to do. you know, the boring, responsible stuff. yes, i know we all need to do it, but sometimes i think that there should be a way around it all. steve and i would love a machine that folds our laundry for us, since we both hate doing that.
how to enjoy life, get things done and not be entitled.
so, i'm on the search for the perfect balance of me-ness and family-ness.
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5 comments:
OK, here are my thoughts on working. If it is what you want to do and what makes you happy. Then do it! I definitely would not do it only because of money. A lot of the time it is not even worth it.
But I believe that only a happy mom/wife can be a good mom/wife. So I think taking care of yourself and your needs for part of the day is very important.
I unfortunately have to work it isn't an option. However, I have been able to find a job that I set my appointments and I work out of my home. It isn't always easy because sometimes I have to go in when I don't want to. However, it works ok. It is really hard to find a balance though. I have made a checklist of things that are important for me to get done in a week. Not only household cleaning things but things like reading my scriptures. I have recently found though that when I make time for myself, whether something fun, going to the temple and reading my scriptures I am much better at doing the household stuff, being a step mom and working. So make sure whatever you choose give yourself time. It is hard to balance though whatever you are doing.
I don't know that there is a right answer--I for sure don't think there is one answer.... But I think you'll figure out the whole job thing. It's a tough one.
On the laundry thing though, I've gotta say--just accept it. It won't ever go away. : )
There isn't a right answer. But there is a right answer for you. And you just sort of figure it out as you go.
For me, I wasn't ready to let go of work after Audrey so I went back... but I very quickly realized that I couldn't focus at work because I was constantly feeling pulled home and back to Audrey. Going back to work only lasted about a month and a half. Luckily, I was able to do the from home thing for awhile. I liked the balance of that. But then Luke joined in the fun and quickly made me realize the time for trying to juggle is not now.
I think that there is just a time for everything... and right now it's time for me to be "mom" with just a little bit of "Mandi" and as the kids get older the "ratio" of "mom" to "Mandi" will shift. I do think it's important to continue doing things that you like (whether that includes working or not) so that your needs/wants are still being met.
...and now The Byrds "Turn! Turn! Turn!" is totally stuck in my head!
I just found your blog through Lindsay's - I hope you don't mind (it's Megan Nielsen). I love your last 2 posts! Here are my thoughts - very similar to those that have already been posted.
I think the work thing - you'll figure it out. I wanted to go back to work so bad! But at the same time I felt like I needed to be home too which won out in the end. And I love being home although I miss being at work - more for the social aspect.
I've only been a mom for 4 months but I sometimes start to resent the fact (I may be horrible for saying that) that I'm at home doing laundry, cleaning the house, cooking, grocery shopping, not seeing any of my friends from work and just all these things that don't seem very exciting. So I think it's VERY important to do those things that make you - you. Do things that you enjoy and to get some "me" time. I think you need to be selfish at times because I agree with the person who wrote "only a happy mom/wife can be a good mom/wife". I have a hard time doing this and finding the balance but I'm working on it because I think it's really important. And I don't really resent it, I just need a break to put things back into perspective. I actually really love being at home and being a mom.
Anyway, I'm happy I found your blog. I already really enjoy it! And Sage is soooo cute! Tell Steve hello for me. Oh yeah, and if you ever find one of those machines to fold your laundry - let me know! I hate it too!
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